I've been doing a lot of thinking, reading, listening, and watching lately. I feel like I'm in a bubble, just floating around and observing life, observing God, and observing myself.
So, what have I observed? What have I learned?
Well, as I observe myself, I have been seeing myself in God's eyes. So, I've learned that God has been laughing at me a lot lately. Or, at least shaking his head with a smile on His face when I do something that is so childish. At least, I like to think He's laughing and not grinding His teeth.
So many times He has shown me just how awesome and amazing He is by gently correcting me when I'm doing or thinking something stupid. One example: Last night I was reading in Exodus (because I'm a little, or a lot, behind on reading the Bible in a year). Since I'm behind, I thought, "Well, I'm just going to skim this part because I don't really care about the tabernacle. Ya, ya, they used 50 sheep skins and painted them burgundy with naked cherubs..." (by the way, this was my interpretation...don't quote me).
Even though I just wanted to skim, I found myself being pulled into it and actually reading it and thinking about it. I was so intrigued by what I read, that I even did some research on-line to see what theologians have to say about the tabernacle. I was absolutely awed. I'm not going to go into a bunch of detail, but let's just say that I learned a lesson (that I've learned before)...God's Word (the Bible) is beyond compare. Every detail about every sheep skin...or whatever...has a purpose. Moses wasn't just rambling when He wrote the Torah. He was recording the Word of God. God was speaking through his writings. And that goes for every author and every book of the Bible. Every word is God-breathed...which means reading it is like sitting with God and just hearing Him speak. And what's amazing is He is so personal and sees right into my childish thoughts and heart. And, what's even more amazing, is that He sees the real me and still smiles.
As I have observed life outside of me, I've noticed 2 types of people: People who've got it and people who don't. People who've got it are the people that realize how small they are and how big God is. People who don't are the people that think they are in control.
And what is "it" you ask?
It is peace. It is joy. It is a clear understanding of life's purpose. It is everything my soul and spirit craves.
So, do I have it? Well, I'm certainly still a child, still foolish, and I still have a lot of learning to do. But, I think I'm figuring it out.
Wednesday, February 18, 2009
Monday, February 16, 2009
Revolution
It's amazing how subtle a revolution can be on the outside.
Someone asks you how life is - if anything new is going on. On the outside, everything is the same - same job, same house, same busy schedule, same hobbies (if you call Starbucks a hobby)...
So, I answer the question with the same thing every time, "Oh, things are going fine - nothing's changed."
But, in reality, everything's changed! I can feel you changing me. I can hear you prompting me. I see light where I used to see darkness. I found acceptance rather than chasing after unreliable dreams. Things that used to taste sweet, things I used to crave, have become tasteless and even bitter. In fact, now I save my appetite for something that I'll never fully taste on this earth - but I've caught enough of a scent to keep me longing for and craving more. And just that scent keeps me satisfied.
This change, this new force in my life, it is not like sleeping in a bed of roses or a never ending day at the spa. It can actually be frightening because it is not tame. He is not predictable. You never know where He's going to take you. However, the fear turns into excitement when I put down my own agenda, my own doubts, and just walk forward in faith.
This love, this power, this new reality - I feel fulfilled, but I still feel a yearning for more. It's like having a feast that never ends and a stomach that never feels completely full. No matter how much I fill myself up, I'll always want more.
This is a revolution. It's up to me how quiet or how explosive it will be. I can keep it bottled up or I can shout it from the rooftops and risk changing the world.
If a revolution is too subtle, it'll go unnoticed and will soon be forgotten. And then, we'll never know what could have been.
Someone asks you how life is - if anything new is going on. On the outside, everything is the same - same job, same house, same busy schedule, same hobbies (if you call Starbucks a hobby)...
So, I answer the question with the same thing every time, "Oh, things are going fine - nothing's changed."
But, in reality, everything's changed! I can feel you changing me. I can hear you prompting me. I see light where I used to see darkness. I found acceptance rather than chasing after unreliable dreams. Things that used to taste sweet, things I used to crave, have become tasteless and even bitter. In fact, now I save my appetite for something that I'll never fully taste on this earth - but I've caught enough of a scent to keep me longing for and craving more. And just that scent keeps me satisfied.
This change, this new force in my life, it is not like sleeping in a bed of roses or a never ending day at the spa. It can actually be frightening because it is not tame. He is not predictable. You never know where He's going to take you. However, the fear turns into excitement when I put down my own agenda, my own doubts, and just walk forward in faith.
This love, this power, this new reality - I feel fulfilled, but I still feel a yearning for more. It's like having a feast that never ends and a stomach that never feels completely full. No matter how much I fill myself up, I'll always want more.
This is a revolution. It's up to me how quiet or how explosive it will be. I can keep it bottled up or I can shout it from the rooftops and risk changing the world.
If a revolution is too subtle, it'll go unnoticed and will soon be forgotten. And then, we'll never know what could have been.
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